“The Rockery” (1912)

E.G. Swain was a cleric and a colleague of M.R. James. Swain wrote his own collection of ghost stories, The Stoneground Ghost Tales, where “The Rockery” comes from originally. I got a kick out of this one. The characters are so oblivious they are in a vampire tale that it reads to me like a lampoon of the trope. Mr. Batchel, a vicar with a small estate next to the church (a “glebe”?) and its churchyard, takes great pride in and fastidious care of his garden. At one edge of it is “a cluster of tall elms … and about their base is raised a bank of earth, upon which is heaped a rockery of large stones lately overgrown with ferns.” Mr. Batchel finds it unsightly and determines to have it removed. Swain is humorously cynical about the relationship of Mr. Batchel and his gardener. Mr. Batchel thinks of the work as a “we” project, but it is the gardener who labors. Among the stones they find architectural debris of columns and capitals and such, as if perhaps a temple of some kind had collapsed or been destroyed. It’s a fantastic afternoon’s work and here is where we can start to feel Swain winking at us: “One detail, however, must not be omitted. A large and stout stake of yew, evidently of considerable age, but nonetheless quite sound, stood exposed after the clearing of the bank. There was no obvious reason for its presence.” Au contraire, Sherlock! we want to cry. It's really quite obvious, and I suspect, in 1912, that Swain knows that exactly. A lot of time and effort (all by Mr. Batchel’s gardener, of course) subsequently goes into removing the stake, which includes finding a plate of copper nailed to it, bearing a message punched in with hammer and nail: “MOVE NOT THIS STAKE, NOV. 1, 1702.” Does this stop our industrious pair? It does not. You know where this is going and you are correct, not to be too spoilery about it. This vampire, once released, is more the beast type. But even that got me thinking. Maybe, after two centuries of being buried under tons of rubble with a stake through its heart, it’s going to take a while for the beast to get its bearings and get back up on its legs and create that life of leisure and sophistication and seduction we know so well. Count Dracula, in his castle and tuxedo, etc. It takes some time to put that undead life together again. I’m interested in reading more by Swain.

Vampire Tales: The Big Collection, pub. Dark Chaos
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