Suspiria (2018)

I know I have a bias against sequels, remakes, and reboots, but this one, in retrospect—or "homage," the term fatally preferred by director Luca Guadagnino (Call Me By Your Name, I Am Love)—was just always doomed to fail in comparison with Dario Argento's spectacular 1977 original. As I rediscovered, going a lap to prep for the homage, Argento's arguable masterpiece is close to a perfect movie in its way. In fact, the single best thing about Guadagnino's remake for me turned out to be exactly the trip back to the Argento (and am now further inspired to entertain trying to squeeze in an Argento retrospective). Guadagnino's new version is 40 minutes longer and doesn't even try to compete on the two greatest strengths of the original, the vivid color palette and the soundtrack by Goblin. That was probably wise but the result is too often dreary and slow, another reminder of why perhaps this project should never have been taken on in the first place. Its attempt to draw the Black Swan vibe into the orbit of Suspiria—not a bad idea—is completely torpedoed by also leaning so hard into an incoherent subplot involving the Baader-Meinhof era of European terrorism. The new Suspiria is merely operatic as opposed to Argento's operatic strained through prog-rock. If you like Coppola's Dracula or The Silence of the Lambs (especially if you go for the sequel), then you're probably way ahead of me and have already seen the 2018 Suspiria (I'm still doing a little pandemic catchup myself these days). A taste for Guadagnino's sumptuous swirling style would also be helpful—I'm not sure it does much for me. I think I liked Call Me By Your Name more in spite of it. There's also the matter of Tilda Swinton taking multiple roles, which makes me think there's a good Bernie Sanders meme somewhere in here, viz., "I am once again appearing in a movie in multiple roles." Swinton is good, of course, but more and more she's starting to feel gimmicky, maybe overexposed, single-handedly signifying Art (indie movie style). I understand the 2018 Suspiria is one of those movies people are somewhat polarized on, either loving or hating it. Sadly, I'm closer to the latter. "Suspiria" is Latin for "sighing," which is what I found myself heaving in disappointment within the first hour of this long tiresome exercise.