For the brief sliver of time in which Nirvana ruled—it wasn't long, they were effectively supplanted by Pearl Jam even with this, in commercial terms anyway—I had a fan's adoration of them nearly every step of the way. I hung on every piece of news. I was intrigued, for example, that the new album was to be produced by Steve Albini. I was insulted by Axl Rose's behavior, and I worried that the press was treating them fairly. I thought they deserved their privacy. In retrospect it's silly, as these things usually are, made tragically so when Kurt Cobain demonstrated the dimensions of what was at stake. But I remember the excitement when the local commercial alternative radio station announced they had this first single from the new album and the time they would be first playing it. Phone calls from friends came to let me know, and I was tuned in to hear at the appointed hour. There are always artists and albums and first singles that are going to produce the effect, but not every one works for everyone. Somehow this became one of mine. "Heart-Shaped Box" isn't the most representative song on In Utero—that would be either "All Apologies" or maybe "Radio Friendly Unit Shifter"—but it's a good way in, a mid-tempo word salad with the usual thrilling dynamics and memorable, provocative, even signature turns of phrase floating out of the chaos, viz., "I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black" and "Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back." We know now there wasn't much time left when this came out, but the possibilities seemed to stretch well beyond all visible horizons. This was a kind of rest stop in the desert, where unknowing a nice picnic was enjoyed shortly before the accident that changed everything.
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